APPLICANT #9: Charity Slawter

Charity Slawter is a mother of four from Marysville, Washington.

Here is Charity's video application:

Here is Charity's current situation:

"I am a 36 yr. old mother of four who spends her days, like most moms, knee deep in a slurry of responsibilities and festivities. Responsibilities to keep the house clean, the bills paid, the flowerbeds weeded, the family fed, and a myriad of other things too numerous to list. On the other hand there are the festivities that are always around me: the celebration of a first lost tooth, the happy dance that comes at the end of a great day, the high-five for an "A" on a report card, the shared smile as my husband and I exchange loving glances.

So what am I up to now? I am somewhere in the slurry. I know keeping up on the responsibilities is necessary. But I hope that I am pulling myself away often enough to relish in the festivities. We started something a few years ago in our family to help us focus on the celebration of each other. Several times a year we have a "Special Family Celebration Dinner". At this dinner, we light a candle for each member of our family. As we light each person's candle, we take turns sharing what we love about that person. We then enthusiastically clap and cheer for him or her. I know that this celebration of our families is where we moms all want to live. I would love to spend the next year sharing the celebrations (and yes, the responsibilities) of motherhood with all of you. Thank you."

Here is Charity's blog post:

"Blindsided

It came to me as I was on my way to spend the evening with some girlfriends. I was enjoying the peace and quiet of the car ride, having spent the day in a usual fashion: shuffling kids to and from school, tidying up the house to the energetic music of the Wiggles in the background, answering brilliant, but nonetheless, never-ending questions from my toddler, making a scrumptious dinner while simultaneously assisting three children with their homework, and finally, directing the choreography of the “getting the children ready for bed dance”. And so you see, the peace and quiet of the car was...aaaaahhhhh. No, that should be longer...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. No radio on, just the sound of the tires on the road and the thoughts in my head.

That’s when it came to me. I was thinking about my friend Harmony, who was one of the gals I would be spending my evening with. Harmony was pregnant with her first child and I was ruminating about the wonders of becoming a mom. I felt a sweet joy for her as I remarked to myself, “Harmony is going to be a mom!”

The next thought blindsided me. Out of nowhere it dropped itself into my soul. “I have four kids.” It kept repeating itself with greater and greater vivacity.

“I have four kids!”         “I have four kids!”          “I HAVE FOUR KIDS!?”

“Whoa!!!”   “Wow!!!”   “How the???”   “What in the???”   “When did this???”

Obviously, I knew all along that I was the mother of four children. I have the embedded memories of each of those agonizing deliveries to prove it. So what was this new thought all about? Why was it so powerful? Why was I being held in it’s obstinate grip?

The answers to these kinds of questions don’t always come easily? I have had a couple of years to ponder, and I think I have come to some understanding on the subject. What it really comes down to is that I don’t think I ever adjusted my view of myself after becoming a mother. My Mother-in-law once told me that in her mind’s eye she still sees herself in her young 20’s. Which has brought her to the occasion that when she looks in the mirror she thinks to herself, “who is that old lady?” Much like my Mother-in-law, in my mind’s eye, I was just Charity, the same person I had lived with my entire life. I hadn’t really realized that I wasn’t just the same as I had always been. In the course of the last several years I had become something more... someone more... someone stronger, someone deeper, someone more loving, someone more invested, someone more satisfied. This someone I had become was a mom. A mom of four amazing kids who helped me to become who I am today.

It no longer shocks me when I think about being the mother of four children. I see myself for who I truly am. I’ve begun to revel in the perks and embrace the liabilities of motherhood. From this place, I believe, I am better able to be the best mom I can be to the four little people who have been entrusted to my care. And hopefully, when grandmotherhood comes knocking on my door, I will remember this life lesson and be quick to make the adjustment to being more than just the Charity I have always known.

Charity"

The Verity Mom Team