APPLICANT #10: Jenifer Gonzales

Jenifer Gonzales is a mother of a one from Seattle, Washington.

Here is Jenifer's video application:

Here is Jenifer's current situation:

"I’m Jen, 29, wife to Roth, 31, and mom to Rowan, 9 months. We live in a cozy house in North Seattle where together we enjoy watching movies, listening to music, cooking and baking, entertaining for friends, and playing board games. I practice yoga and dabble in photography, but my main passion in life is writing. I have a degree in journalism, which I’ve channeled into a career as a sales and marketing coordinator for a local book producer on the Eastside. I recently returned to work full-time after a four-month maternity leave, a decision that wasn’t easy to make, but necessary for the financial well being of our family. We were fortunate to find a wonderful in-home daycare for our son where he gets to play with older kids all day, definitely a boon for his development, and I don’t feel one ounce of guilt for deciding to become a working mom.

I started my personal blog right before my 25th birthday – hence the title Quarter Life Crisis – and for the last five years, I’ve chronicled my life, from before I was married, to our move from California to Seattle, to the purchase of our first home, and most recently, the birth of our son and the roller coaster ride that is being parents, to an ever-growing audience of like-minded readers, a lot of whom are also moms. I’m also an avid user of Twitter, Facebook, and Flickr, and back when we could afford to eat out, I wrote local reviews for Yelp.

I love blogging and being a mom, and I couldn’t think of a better way to meld these two passions into one awesome opportunity."

Here is Jenifer's blog post:

"First rule of mommyblogging?

Never, ever write about how your baby has been sleeping through the night, for if you do, two things will immediately occur. One, your fellow mom readers will either roll their eyes at your naïveté, or they'll cry into their coffee because their own baby is not a champion sleeper. If your readership is big enough, the cosmic momentum of these two actions simultaneously occurring will tilt the universe just so that, two, your baby will have no less than five wakeups the very next night.

I don't know why this happens, but trust me, it does, and it’s miserable, especially when you've gotten comfortable in a nice routine that normally includes several hours of sleep at night. It's sort of like nature's cruel way of keeping you on your toes. Just when you think you've got your baby figured out, he shows you who wears the diaper around these parts.

Second, third, fourth rules of mommyblogging? Heh. I haven't a clue. Much like I haven't got a clue what I'm doing when it comes to motherhood, either. I could lie and say I've read tons of books and taken lots of classes on parenting, but that'd be a disservice to myself and my child. No, I think it's safe to say that I'm mostly winging it, making it up as I go. Sort of like improv. Or, momprov, as it were.

I always knew I wanted to have a kid before I turned 30, but beyond that goal, which I made when I was in my early 20s and 30 still seemed OLD, I had no idea what would happen next. Mere weeks before my 30th birthday, I find myself the mother of one hulky baby boy. So, I accomplished that goal. Yay me! But, now what?

Maybe it’s because I’m about to turn 30, or maybe it’s because I just found my first gray hair, but I’ve been thinking a lot about what it feels like to be a mom. Of course, it’s exhausting and exhilarating all at once, but what about the specific moments that are tattooed in our memories as the first time we REALLY felt like a mom. I recently posed this question to my readers, asking them to fill in the blank: I felt like I was a mom when… 

A recurring theme among the responses had to do with seeing it in writing – filling out a form for your child, and having to sign it as their parent.

Shannon L. from Bellevue, WA writes:
“The moment I saw the ‘Parent or Guardian Signature’ line on her acid reflux medication. My mom was in the car and I almost thought to hand it to her but realized that nope, that was ME.”

Kat writes:
“Our first pedi visit where it said ‘name’ and I started to write my own only to realize... uh ... this form is not for me.”

Erin from Massachusetts writes:
“Realizing that I'm the one responsible for ensuring she gets the best education, therapies and services available. On the attendance sheet, my name was printed and next to it, it said ‘Parent.’ It took three years but seeing it in writing, that sealed the deal for me!”

I can definitely relate to these stories, as I remember the week shortly after our son was born where we received his social security card, insurance card and birth certificate in the mail in as many days. It was like he was suddenly more real than before. He was in the system, and we were officially responsible for taking good care of him. I joked to my husband, “I guess this means we can’t give him back.” In all seriousness, though, these very important documents made me feel like I was a mom.

Another common theme had to do with affection – giving it and getting it back, the first time your feelings are validated in the form of reciprocal love.

Shannon H. from Bend, OR writes:
“When my child planted a kiss on my lips and went ‘mwah’ like I do when I kiss him.”

Mamabird writes:
“She put her head on my shoulder for the first time as a sign of affection as opposed to one of exhaustion.”

Mrs. Bagley from Texas writes:
“He reaches for me and lights up when I walk into a room.”

For weeks and weeks after our son was born, my husband and I spent so much energy trying to coax a smile – nay, even a gaseous smirk would’ve been fine, really – to feel as though all our parental efforts weren’t wasted. Now our son smiles and laughs and giggles all the time, and it never fails to fill me with this inexplicable sense of delight that just makes me feel like a mom deep inside my core.

It might be a single moment in time, or an ever-evolving series of events that slowly unfurl like scenes of the movie in your mind. Regardless of when or how it happens, the first time you actually feel like a mom is monumental.

Even if it’s just coming to terms with your new-found desire to trade in your sporty sedan for a crossover station wagon.

Jenifer"

The Verity Mom Team